Drove over the raggedy Sellwood Bridge last week to visit an old friend, Frank Coppieters, who is a Reiki master and a shaman from Belgium. Such a warm welcome! Brought him up to date, then we decided to give Reiki to my cancerous kidneys so I could tune in deeply.
Having been a Hakomi therapist for decades, I’m very used to working the interface between mind and body, mindfulness and how the mind and body interact together. Lately I’ve been studying again about mind and medicine, and how the mind affects the brain, which affects the nervous system, which in turn affects the whole body. It matters what we think and what images we hold in our minds as we try to heal at this level. (See resources at the end of this blog, if you’re interested and want more detail.)
Frank put one hand under my left kidney and one hand over it, and then arced up the Reiki stream several notches. I just lay there and watched internally, moving into the felt experience. At first, I could only feel the underneath part of that kidney, the part that is healthy, shiny and happy. Reiki coming from above through the tumor just wasn’t getting through. The cancer felt dense, thick, not moving, and rough, kind of like a skinned knee that has a scab on it, only way more. After about 20 minutes, I suddenly felt/saw a blaze of light slip through between Franks’s upper hand and his lower hand, going through my kidney with a very narrow needle of light, on the right, internal side. The Reiki on the left and lower side of that kidney shifted slightly and I could feel waves of Reiki moving through, very slowly and very faint, creating a sense of spaciousness. The tumor “crust” broke into a type of dust and eventually disappeared.
Now I have an image of how that cancer will or could be removed by imagery. I can simply see it becoming more porous, gradually filled with light and warmth, as it crumbles away, erodes, slowly. That feels right to me.
The right kidney was very different. The cancer there seemed to me to be more vertical in structure, and was very dense, rigid. Frank introduced Reiki top and bottom, and eventually I said “I hear screaming in this kidney.” “What kind of screaming?” Frank asked. I said “Fear. And some anger.” A memory from a year ago surfaced when the surgeon was getting ready to put me under, to run a tiny tube up my urethra with a camera and a zapper thing, the idea being to zap the kidney stone that was lurking there and get rid of it. He was talking about how I was going to die soon – to the four other men in the operating room. I became furious, and told him not to bring that kind of negativity in there, and asked for a woman to be with me. A woman quickly appeared, to hold my hand as I went under. One of the men in the room said “She’s got that right, you know…” and I went under, knowing that the surgeon was pissed at me. I will not work with him again.
That energy, his negativity and my fear and anger, was still stuck in my right kidney – not the cause of the cancer, but not moving. We brushed it all away, and later on, at home in bed, I could feel the chi just pouring out of that kidney like a wave, on and on. Great feeling. More spacious now, at ease. I slept, exhausted.
Now I have a healing image to use that is directly coming from my kidneys, that I can practice on a daily basis. So who knows? Worth a try.
- The Healing Power of Mind: Simple Meditation Exercises for Health, Well-Being, and Enlightenment. By Tulku Thondup. Very simple, Buddhist oriented visualizations for healing and the role of devotion or belief in such healing.
- Imagery in Healing: Shamanism and Modern Medicine. By Jeanne Achterberg. An older reference from 1985, technical reference on how the brain and nervous system work in tandem with our minds.