One of the greatest gifts in Recovery Land is the gift of more time: a chance to keep learning, to encounter ideas and experiences that open us up to totally new realms of possibility, both in real time and spiritually. And wow, what a difference that can make!
Fortunately, there are people who are breaking trail and leaving some excellent maps along the way.
One such is philosopher Ken Wilber, who is developing a fluid overview of the evolution of human consciousness, stretching out beyond anything I’ve ever even considered. It’s like climbing up to the top of Mt. Hood and looking over the entire Cascade Range and beyond. Glorious! And then the freedom to soar, untethered. He is, I believe, a trustworthy guide.
For example, he teaches that if the relative, meaning what we call real life, and the Absolute or God, are indeed one, as both Buddhists and Christians teach, then if the relative evolves (think Darwin) then by using logic, that means the Absolute itself evolves. God is not static but is alive and fluid beyond measure. A Catholic priest Father Theihard de Chardin agreed, decades ago. And human consciousness, for Wilber, includes heart and passion, also beyond measure; opening into vistas I’ve never dreamed of.
During my times of making friends with death, preparing to cross the great divide, my mission became “to die in harmony with the universe”. That sounded right to me then. Except that I didn’t really know what that actually meant. Hence a long trip into exploring music, harmony, and especially the physics of sound, and indirectly into vibrational medicine.
Because, hey, music and the joy I found there saved my life, at least so far. God bless the Tibetans’ medicine of joy, and musicians, near and far!
Now, thanks to Ken Wilber’s explorations into the outer realms of life itself, including tantra, I have a new mission, as I contemplate death, my old friend.
I want to die directly into the heart of passionate, eternal love and joy. Why not? Same mission, probably, but I like this upgrade much better. Nothing to calibrate or measure, just an internal surrender, an opening, a joining. I can do this!
Not so fast, Sisu! A type of homework emerges on this trail, however. For that level of trust and opening, I now want to encounter every fear and doubt, every obstacle that resides in the deepest reaches of my soul and spirit. An energy stream exists in humans, sometimes called kundalini, which flows from the base of our bodies all the way up through our central channel, through our hearts and some say it exits through the top of our heads. It seems I need to consciously clear out that entire channel. O dear…. The path of purification. Yikes! Did I really sign up for this?! Radical mindfulness needed.
When my lover David died in his bed in January 1980, I traced his life force with my fingers as it made that exact trail through his body, only sensing a slight pulse at the top of his head his final night. The last thing he whispered was “I can see the light all around me”, and he was radiant! Then he slept, and died early the next morning.
I experienced Kundalini energy for the first time for myself in 1981 at Stehikan, a tiny enclave in the wilderness 50 miles up from Chelan, Washington, by ferry. God bless ferry boats! Just standing alone on that holy ground, I thought at first there was an earthquake, but when my trembling subsided, I knew what it was. Glad I was alone, I was slightly embarrassed…
So now, decades later, I’ve been consciously clearing the path of kundalini in my own old, frail body, encountering all sorts of interesting things. At the moment, I’m delving into the third chakra, often called the power chakra, just below my lungs. Read “ego”; a truly daunting and humbling endeavor. So much to learn here, now and from my past. It’s not easy; I get cranky. Hopefully the heart chakra will be easier, assuming that’s next. What I’ve been learning is that this whole enterprise is out of control and full of surprises. That’s how I know it’s real.
Ken Wilber teaches about growing up, spiritually waking up, cleaning up, and opening up. As an integral developmental theory, he includes them all as essential pieces that interact every moment, not necessarily in order. He talks about cosmic integrity as the gift of his integral meta-theory. It’s complicated but makes sense. This is easier for me than a strictly rational scientific worldview, even though he includes that too. I am just not willing to let go of passionate non-attachment. And yes, there is such a thing. In over 25 books, over 4 decades, published worldwide, he delves into the heart of the evolution of human consciousness, in what we call reality and through into the astral plane as well, incorporating mystical experiences and practices across the globe.
Note to self: in my cross country backpack, add cleaning supplies and tissues! And book marks, lots of book marks.
Considering my newly upgraded mission, Wilber’s maps are very helpful. God knows I have work to do, because when I die I want to be as ready as possible, even while I live in joy! Who knows what lies beyond? We are all incubating, germinating, but what are we birthing? What is the seed that we are even now nourishing in our own being? That is the pivotal question, for me anyhow.
I’m taking this one breath at a time. Meanwhile, I am learning how to sing the song Ripple. Or croak, as the case may be!